Her Husband Fat-Shamed Her On Instagram While Pregnant, And She Wants To Leave Him Over It

If you were already not all-in on your marriage and then caught your spouse fat-shaming you on social media, what would you do?

A couple of weeks ago, this 28-year-old woman and her 38-year-old husband got hitched after living with one another for the last three years.

In April, they got engaged, and they ended up getting married a month ahead of schedule after she learned that she was pregnant.

She was under the impression that her relationship was fine. She and her husband don't argue; they get along wonderfully, and their daily routine is uneventful.

She works from home and has dinner ready for her husband before he comes back from his job. They hang out at night prior to going to bed at approximately 9 p.m.

"Our [romantic] life has been normal, and we spend our weekends together. We live in an extremely rural area, so there isn't much to do, but we've always had similar interests and hobbies," she explained.

"Three days ago, I was scrolling through social media when I came across a comment he'd left on a fitness influencer's account we both follow. It was posted around the time of our wedding."

"'My wife being fat has made me super depressed, started out saying she would gym with me and now she wants to get food anywhere we go.' I was absolutely devastated. Before getting pregnant, I'd lost 30 pounds and was at my lowest adult weight."

This means she was 50 pounds less than when she first began dating her husband, and she was excited about all of her progress. When she called her husband out for fat-shaming her on social media, she honestly freaked out and melted down on him.

lpstudio - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person - pictured above is a woman in a strapless dress

Her husband's rationale for posting the comment is that he was furious with her over something and wrote it out of anger. She questioned her husband about what she had said to make him upset in the first place, and he couldn't even recall what it was.

He said sorry and promised to make it up to her, but he hasn't tried to do that at all.

And in case you're wondering what her husband looks like, he's fit, but not in the best shape of his life. He carries some more pounds around his stomach, but that's never turned her off.

"I make considerably more money than he does, and he regularly drives my car instead of his older truck. He rarely plans dates or activities for us, and most of the effort that goes into our daily routine falls on me," she added.

"We actually used to go to the gym together when we first started dating, but it wasn't a positive experience. He could be mean, overly critical, and unreasonable about working out."

"The last time we went together, he grabbed my arm hard enough to leave bruises. After that, I stopped wanting to exercise with him. So seeing him complain publicly that I wouldn't go to the gym with him was particularly upsetting."

Additionally, she can't say she was extremely happy in her marriage leading up to the Instagram comment. While she would characterize her marriage as comfortable, that's all she has to say about it.

She actually was planning on leaving her husband prior to finding out about her pregnancy. But as soon as she realized she was carrying a baby, she made the choice to give her relationship one more shot.

She wants her baby to have a great life, and so she thought marrying her husband and resolving to make things work with him was the right thing to do.

"But finding that comment seems to have changed something in me. I suddenly have the biggest ick, and I don't know how to get past it," she said.

"I'm looking at him differently now, and I'm realizing that outside of our shared hobbies, interests, and political beliefs, I'm struggling to identify what he really brings to my life or our relationship."

"He insists he's still attracted to me and that he would never cheat on me. And for what it's worth, I genuinely believe him. Infidelity isn't something I've ever worried about with him. But I also don't think cheating is the only way someone can make their partner feel unwanted or unloved."

She isn't really positive if she should walk away from her husband and invest her time, energy, and attention into her career and her baby on the way.

It's been on her mind to return to school and get a cybersecurity degree, and she does think that might be a better bet than struggling to save a marriage to a man she wasn't super thrilled to be with anyway.

She's unsure of whether she can move past her husband's comment, and it very well could be the straw that breaks the camel's back here.

She's not interested in terminating her pregnancy, as she waited 15 years to be a mom. Also, she can't get an annulment in her state.

"I know pregnancy comes with a lot of emotions and major life changes, and I don't want to make a decision impulsively. But I also don't want to spend years convincing myself that a relationship is good enough simply because we're married and having a child together," she continued.

"Has anyone else experienced something similar? Did you manage to rebuild your feelings for your partner, or did you eventually realize you were staying for the wrong reasons? I'm a very moral person, but for the sake of my child, I want to play chess, not checkers."

Ugh, if she thinks things are already bad now, it's not going to magically get better after the baby arrives. Her husband unquestionably comes across like a jerk who can't love her that much if he's willing to publicly humiliate her over her weight.

What advice do you have for her?

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