She Told Her Dad About Her Mom's Affair And How She Was Planning To Leave Him For The Other Man At Her Brother's Wedding

If you knew that your mom was cheating on your dad and you let that information out at your sibling's wedding, would you feel bad about it?

This 24-year-old woman has one brother who is 31, and their parents have been married to one another for the last 35 years. Two years ago, she uncovered her mom's affair with a male coworker after accidentally coming across their messages on her mom's iPad.

Her mom didn't just cheat once; she had been spending months with her coworker and telling this man that she was in love with him.

She called her mom out in private, and her mom pleaded with her not to say anything to her dad. Her mom admitted that she made an awful mistake and promised to end the affair.

She believed her mom would do that, but it never happened. Her mom kept on cheating while her dad remained clueless. She really did hate to keep that secret from her dad, but her mom guilt-tripped her by saying she would wreck their family if she tattled.

"Then my brother got engaged. Three months before his wedding, my mom told me something I didn't know. She was planning to leave my dad after the wedding," she explained.

"Apparently, her affair partner had also separated from his wife, and they'd already been looking at apartments together. She said she wanted to wait until after my brother's wedding because she didn't want to 'make his wedding about them.'"

"I asked if Dad knew. She said no. I told her she needed to tell him before the wedding. She refused."

She still made the choice not to blow her mom up, and then the day of her brother's wedding arrived. Her dad got up to give a speech in front of all of the guests about how great her mom was.

romannoru - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual people - pictured above are a bride and groom standing in front of an arch

Her mom sobbed, and then her dad said during the reception that he purchased a home for her mom for them to spend their retirement in.

Her dad saved up his money for years and gifted her mom the keys right there in front of everyone at the wedding. Her mom burst into tears all over again and hugged him.

"Then she whispered something in his ear. I don't know what she said. But about an hour later, my mom came up to me and said, 'I told him.' I asked what she told him. She said she told him she 'needed space,'" she added.

"She did NOT tell him about the affair. She also didn't tell him she'd already been planning a life with another man. I asked why she was still lying. She said, 'Because I don't need to hurt him more than necessary.' I told her that wasn't her decision to make."

"She started arguing with me and turning everything on me, and I lost it. I went to my father. I told him I needed to tell him something and asked him to come outside. I told him about the affair. I also told him Mom had already been planning to move in with the other man."

Her dad wanted to know why she waited two years to tell him, and she mentioned it was because her mom made a promise to her that she would stop cheating.

Her dad then asked if her mom had stopped at all, and she confirmed that hadn't happened. Her dad walked out of the reception after feeling hurt that she picked her mom over him, and her mom went after him.

"My brother is furious with me. He says he understands why I told Dad, but thinks I had no right to do it at his wedding reception.

My dad is now divorcing my mom," she continued.

"My brother says I permanently attached our parents' divorce to the happiest day of his life...I did not mean to do this at the wedding; I just really snapped, as at that moment there was no one to support me or calm me down. It was all bottled up."

"I could not bear it anymore when I saw how much of a big gesture my dad was making, and my mom was still being dishonest with him. She was painting me as the bad person here and that I am the one who would ruin the 'family.'"

I do think she ruined her brother's wedding by choosing to out her mom on that day of all days. It definitely would have been better if she waited until after the wedding to say something, especially since she already spent years waiting.

I get why she dragged her feet on telling her dad, and it's hard to keep a secret like that while hoping a parent will do the right thing.

What advice do you have for her?

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